I haven’t published a blog in a long time. I’ve been writing off and on, but haven’t
posted. It’s been a long process for me
to discover why. And, now I don’t know
where to start. So I thought I would
start with this week. I hope to overcome
and post things from the last three years journey but today is just about
today.
Lots of thoughts this week:
First thought. Have you ever come across a person that seems
to have a block against you? You don’t
know why, but it feels like they are constantly making you wrong? Or have you ever been a person who doesn’t
like someone and you can’t help but interpret them in negative way? I would imagine the answer is, YES.
My thought is, to really see right and wrong, truth and
error, isn’t that easy. It feels natural
to me that we see things according to our own way; what makes us justified, blame
free, or right. To ever see anything
different from that way, we must have some kind of spiritual
transformation. The reason why is, it’s
just so easy to see ourselves right in every situation. The natural man inside of us just pulls at us
to make everyone wrong and ourselves right.
So seeing correctly can be difficult. It’s easier to just see things according to
the world and our own story.
I think the world also makes it difficult to see right and
wrong, truth and error, because the natural man wants comfort, easy, and
safe. The worlds messages are usually
always about obtaining and living in a place of comfort, ease and safety. So truth can be difficult to find.
My thought is we must be clean and worthy of God’s spirit to
see HIS TRUTH, HIS RIGHT. Being clean
and worthy of His spirit gives us the chance to See clearly.
Second Impression. Knowing Christ is not enough. Christ is not the end game. He is the Way. But the way to what?
The end game s to live with God again; to be a person who COULD
live and WOULD WANT to live with him. Christ
is the vehicle to becoming that person.
Knowing about Christ’s atonement, believing in Him and what He did is awesome,
but that is just the gift box still wrapped, with the ribbon still intact. It’s a wasted gift. Coming unto Christ is all about unwrapping and
using the gift of His atonement. And using
the gift of His atonement is all about becoming Holy; which is not and never
will be a passive belief or knowing, it is a very active, alive, agent based
process.
My thought is this, repenting of sin is just the first,
basic step. I feel there is a whole lot
of unholy going on inside of us and me, that isn’t really thought of as
sin. Angry, Mad, Irritated, Frustrated,
Hate, Envy, Fear, even things like Regret, Hurt and Pain take us/me away from feeling
and being filled with the Spirit of God.
Yet they aren’t normally considered sin, or things we need to repent of.
Our Savior’s doesn’t want us to just profess belief, know
about Him, or only use His Atonement for “obvious sin”. He wants us to use Him to Become as He
Is. Which means we must get to the point
where we, “love our enemies, (or even just love our family members), do good to
those who hate you and pray for those which despitefully use you, and persecute
you. That you may be a child of God.” Matt 5.
We must suffereth long and be kind, envieth not, is not puffed up, seeketh no her
own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity but
rejoiceth in truth, bear, believe, hope and endure all things. Moroni 7.
My experience is all this is impossible! My guess is all of us are not these
things. That is why knowing Christ is
not enough. Believing in Him is not
enough. We must Use Him; we must ask God
to apply Christ atoning blood so that we may not only be forgiven of our sins,
but that our hearts may be purified. Mosiah 4.
When our hearts are purified we can be loving when we’re
hurt, (we don’t do that on our own), we can be kind when we are mistreated, (we
don’t do that on our own), we can be comforted when we are full of grief,
peaceful in times of trial, happy in others success, humble when we are wrong. How hard is that! We need a Savior to save us from all of this
natural man stuff that so easily besets us.
But it’s not just professing or belief.
We must use our Savior’s atoning sacrifice to purify us so
that we can reach the end game. A heart
that can live in God’s presence; a heart that wants nothing that isn’t pure or
holy. Only God, Jesus Christ and the
Holy Spirit can get us there and we must be an active participant. We can’t just “sit” in our anger, frustration
and pain and stay there. We must move,
using our savior, and come out of it.
My third realization
comes from D&C 59: 12-14. Verse 12-“Remember
the Lord’s Day……..” Verse 13-“……..do no
other thing,… with singleness of heart that thy fasting may be perfect, or, in
other words, that thy joy may be full.”
Have you ever thought of fasting and joy together in the
same sentence? Yes, it said that. “Joy may be full” is another way of saying, “fasting
may be perfect”.
Verse 14-“Verily, this is fasting and prayer, or in other
words, rejoicing and prayer.” Yes, it
said, fasting and rejoicing are the same thing.
Have you ever thought of fasting as being a rejoicing
experience?
To be honest, I would have to say none of the time did I
start a fast feeling joy and rejoicing at the thought of fasting. {There is that natural man again.}
I think when I feel really spiritual, really bonded, really
close to God I have felt Joy and Rejoicing as synonyms of Fasting, so I know
that can happen. But most of the time I
do it because it’s a commandment and I want to obey. And I am super happy when it’s over and I
love the blessings I gained from it.
After it’s over!
My learning is, when you want good, love righteousness,
desire all those spiritual feelings and spiritual blessings that come when
fasting, and you want them more than you want food or water, then you will
think of fasting as joyful and rejoice to do it.
My next thought is I need my savior for that too.
To conclude. All
three of these thoughts came to me at different times during the week, but I feel
the message to me was the same. I can
see a natural man inside of me and if I want to overcome the natural man I have
to actively not be OK with his presence.
I have to ask, seek, knock, cry, empty, wash, see, listen, reject,
invite, stand, kneel, open, push, etc. etc. etc.
Basically, “Becoming” is such an active, verb based process.
