Do you judge yourself and your value through the eyes of the world?

 

Most people without recognizing it judge themselves through the world’s eyes.  Are you what the world says is valuable?  Do you have what the world says is important?  Historically you were valuable if you were born into a noble family, your property and holdings were large, your income substantial, physical beauty, the color of your skin, and the skill to charm and socialize with others who were thought to be important.

What the world values does change in some ways, but consistently wealth, power, and fame seem to have remained the same. If you’re one of those people who even subconsciously judge yourself from the view of the world, you feel valuable when others admire you, pay attention to you, and listen to you.  Heck, if others think you’re great, then aren’t you great?  That would make sense, right?

For years growing up I thought it was true.  I judged myself from the view of the world.  I didn’t know it at the time, it was all very subconscious.   But, I heard the world say I was of value if I was ambitious and accomplishing things, if I was thin and pretty, on top of things and put together, and eventually I came to realize I believed it.  I had dreams of getting a master’s degree and teaching dance on a university level, or dancing professionally.  For me, that was the epitome of reaching my ultimate worth. 

When the spirit spoke to me about staying home with my children and leaving accomplishment behind it was personally devastating.  God wanted me to be nothing.  I wanted to fight to be more.   I wondered if I should start my own business, maybe have some leadership callings in the church, etc.  At that time I still didn’t understand I was basing my value on what the world would think of me and so it bled into my parenting also  I started to see my children through the world’s eyes.  They needed to be good at something, be on a team and excel at sports or music, they needed to get good grades because they had to go to BYU; they needed to do something important and special, so they could be important and special.  I mourned when we found out Nathan and Jordan were going to be lucky if they grew to 5’2”.  I was so sad. I knew it would be so hard to live in a world and feel valued when you are a 5’2” male. 

The Lord took me through many different experiences to help me see what I was doing, the terribleness of it, and get me to the other side; past the world, where value comes from God and my own divine worth.  It took about two years of feeling like a complete failure when I was around 45 years old for the Lord to put the cherry on top and finally get me to completely change.  I walked away from those years of crisis with absolute knowledge that what is in my heart and mind is the absolute most important thing, and God looks on my heart and never sees or judges me the way the world does.     

In our world today I imagine it is incredible hard for young people to understand and get true value from the correct source.  So much visual information is prevalent of what the world thinks is important.  How many followers, how many likes, how many views instantly pass judgment on your value as a person.  Have you started some type of business?  Has that business made a lot of money?  Is your make-up and hair the latest trend?  Are you doing something cool on a great vacation?   Are your clothes current?   Is your body fit and muscular?  Are you making great money at your great job?  ETC.  That is all what the world says is valuable about you.  It’s so easy to buy into it!  But it is a lie. 

I’m not saying any of these things are bad.  I am just saying they have nothing to do with your value.   If we buy into what the world says makes us valuable, and it’s really easy to do that, then we are placing ourselves in a position to be tossed to and fro, seeking our value from a source that lacks depth, intellect or knowledge; and is only concerned with what is visually obvious.  We have no solid foundation basing our personal worth on what is biased and false.

For example this world is all about competing and comparing.  And when you fall into comparison and competing you feel lack of confidence and self-esteem and feel insecure and unworthy.  This world is about being the center of attention and if everyone isn’t looking at you, admiring you and noticing you then you’re not really that great.  This world is about doing things that look good to be esteemed by men.

Sometimes I even think the church has been infiltrated by these worldly ideas.  That view is that if you have a leadership calling your better than another.  Jesus Christ himself was nothing to the world; “..he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him.  He is despised and rejected of men…and we esteemed him not.  Mos 14: 2,3.

What a message.  The most important man in the history of the world was despised and rejected of men; esteemed for not.  One day at the end of my Godly tutorial about this I had the aha moment of what a great place to be and what great company to be in when you are nothing to the world.  That is right where God wanted me to be, where I could learn the most.  “Nothing to the world”, is divine. 

The world’s message is you must do something important, special and sensational to be seen of men, to be valuable and important. 

What I know is that our true source of value comes from God and Jesus Christ only.   That is our only solid and true foundation.  Man does not see or comprehend all that the Lord does.    

If you do a word study in the scriptures on heart, change of heart, born again, etc. it’s a very spiritual experience.  What God is telling us is that he looks upon the heart.  That is what is important.  And the only way we can know the truth of all things is through the Holy Ghost, by asking God.  God is truth. 

I don’t know if I am communicating this effectively but this daily grounds me and changes my life.  It helps me tune out the world.  It helps me not compete or compare myself to anyone.  It helps me love others success and journey.  I know God looks on my heart and mind and what is there for good is what really matters. 

So the important questions are: Am I generous and kind?  Do I forgive and let go of hurt feelings?  Am I grateful and wanting good?  Do I stay faithful and committed even when I am struggling?  Am I meek and lowly in heart, willing to see I am not right, complete, whole or developed? 

I need a Savior.  I need to change and repent.  Am I filled with charity? 

These are the things that are important.  These are the things to work on and refine.  This is the work of our lives; to become holy, people that can and want to live with God. 

I was thinking this morning as I was praying, or more like recognizing as I was praying, that I have this tiny grudge in my heart against someone who hurt my feelings last week.  It’s something that is not a big deal, I resolved it with the person right away, but inside I could feel the judgment against the person was still there.  As I took it out and examined it I thought about who I am.  Do I hold grudges and place judgment on people if they offend me? Do I want to be that kind of person?    Will I hold that against them and think they are unkind or not trustworthy?  Will I secretly hold that in my heart?  What does God want me to feel?  What would God want me to be and do?  These were my questions.  And my answer was, “Yeeess, you should work on this.  Pay attention to this, repent, your Savor can help you.”

And that is what made me want to write this blog.  All these little things in our heart that are so important to repent of.  But also all the good and righteous desires in our hearts are important to focus on too.  Our greatest value.  The most important thing.  If we are focused on anything that takes us away from working on what is in our heart and mind; what we are becoming, then we are diluting life.  We are falling into the snare of the adversary.  We trade what is most valuable for a mess of pottage.

I know God loves us because of who he is, not because of what we are.  I’m not talking about God’s perspective of value.  He values us no matter what.   I’m talking about how we value and see our self.  If we can see what is truly valuable; which is who we are becoming, then we can let the business and distractions of the world go, which are in truth hurting our heart and mind.  What’s in there is what’s valuable.  It determines if we will want to live with God again.  Not just if we can, but if we want too.  Do we want to live that high of a standard? 

I think on earth that standard translates too: Do we want to feel connected to God every day?  Do we want to pray?  Do we want to go to church?  Do we want to attend the temple?  Do we want to read scriptures?  Not just as check off list to be done with them, but because we are looking for spiritual light and knowledge to fill ourselves.  Do we want to do service and show love?  Do we want peace and good?  Do we want to let go of anything that takes us away from the spirit, including our hurt, angry and bitter feelings, not just sins.  Do we just want to feel love?

It brings so much peace to me when I let go of what the world tells me is important and valuable.  I don’t have to be anything or do anything that the world thinks makes me of worth.  I only have to look to God for my value and let him tell me what to do, be and feel.  He is the best source of truth and light. 

Here are some scriptures you may want to ponder.  These are my favorite emotional and mental health scriptures.  To really understand them read more than what is just here.

•       Ether 12:37- If they have not charity it mattereth not unto thee, thou hast been faithful…

•       Alma 42:29-…let these things trouble you no more, only let your sins trouble you….

•       Alma 8:15-…lift up your head and rejoice, for thou hast kept the commandments of God…..

•       Hardheartedness and Heart scriptures in the index

•       Jacob 1:17 and Jacob 2:11 where Jacob inquires of the Lord and receives his “errand” from the Lord of what God wants.

Love you all.  Have a great Sabbath!