Gratitude is THE WAY

 

Gratitude is near and dear to my heart.  I have two previous blog post’s: “Grateful in all things” and “Gratitude is Repentance” that both talk about how gratitude saved me the last year of our mission and how it helped me survive coming home to even harder circumstances. (Please read those if you want to know more of my journey of learning about how gratitude saves.)

Those years were the “greatest deep”, of my life and every day I feel so grateful to be out of that.  I’m revisiting my journey of gratitude learning because of Pres Nielsen’s message this week.  It’s been so good for me. 

I remember the despair I felt during those years.  It was acute; it would come at me, threatening to drown me, I couldn’t breathe and I would instantly feel like crying.  (This wasn’t good since sometimes it would hit me right in the middle of a missionary training when a missionary would make a comment about how much that Lord was blessing his or her family.)  Oh my gosh, the despair and heartache would be instant and I felt like I was destroyed, just by a missionary’s comment.  But in the same exact moment, I would feel in opposition a supportive power whispering to me to think of things to be grateful for.  I think it was ministering angels trying to help me fight.  The power was saying, “Think of things to be grateful for. Think of things to be grateful for.”  Over and over again.  And in the moment the only way I was going to survive is to literally start saying any little thing in my mind I could think of that was a blessing.  (If you want to read more about this it’s in the post: “Can God speak in the very moment you’re asking?”)

This was a constant spiritual time for me as I felt two forces waging a significant battle in my life.  This wasn’t a once a day type of thing, this was multiple times a day as despair would threaten to cut off my air supply, and then a spiritual power pushing at me to think of things to be grateful for.  It’s was like a war.  I learned so much about gratitude that I wrote about in those previous posts - that in summary helped me to understand that gratitude is a tool to God, it’s a conduit to heaven, its repentance, and it’s a way to fight against the anger, hate, worry, doubt and fear of the world.  It’s a way to fight against the “natural man who is an enemy to God” and is NEVER grateful. 

Gratitude is the way.  I should say, “THE WAY”.  Meaning God’s way.  Gratitude takes willingness, softness, and trust.  It is a spiritual exercise. Sometimes it takes a lot of self-discipline and mental strength. 

So, what I am grateful for now in my life is Don’s health!  He is doing well and I can feel good about where he is at.  Our relationship is such a blessing.  He is my best friend and I am learning so much from him, still. 

I am so grateful Nathan is doing amazingly well in his two year rehab program and will be coming home in 4 ½ months.  I am nervous for that, but grateful.

I love our new home and feel so grateful that we were able to down size and sell our dream home that in the end was a burden to us.

I am so grateful for the people my children are.  They are all great individuals and I am so grateful to have each one of them.

As I think of these things I’m having this thought: Every one of the things I just mentioned reflects change, growth and learning in my life, meaning I wasn’t always grateful for the hard things that surrounded them.  But I am now.  That teaches me that gratitude causes change, growth and learning.  As change occurs I see and think differently and that is so good!  I need to see and think differently.  Gratitude really is Repentance that causes change. 

I am totally in love with life, it’s so good.  Not because it’s easy but because all that hard has led to some really meaningful growth and change for me.  I love and trust God with all my heart.  I am so in love with Him and His plan.  I know more hard is coming, I can feel it.  But I am so grateful for this moment of reprieve and Pres Nielsen’s encouragement that has lead me to look back and feel amazed at what God can do in all our circumstances.