Thursday, October 19, 2017

Because I say so!

I woke up Monday morning and realized two things. 

Both things came from some training I received over the weekend at a seminar called Landmark. 

The first thing was what my language had done to me in the last twelve hours.  I was late for Zumba, and I had eaten a whole lot of chocolate covered raisins and peanut better pretzels the night before.  Both things I wasn’t too pleased about and they had happened simply because of words I had said to myself.  I said, “Wow you have gotten to bed so late the last three nights you should sleep in and not set your alarm.”  And the night before I said the words, “Wow you haven’t had any sugar for 4 days so you deserve to eat whatever’s available and it’s late and that’s what’s available so you get to eat that.”  I say things and then I have to live with the fallout from them, and then I say more stuff like, “What were you thinking?”  And it all started because I said the words.  I said so, so it was so.

The reason why this is important is because I had an, “ah-ha” moment during the seminar when they were teaching that anything that is real in life is born out of language; not to say it doesn’t exist, but that it becomes real for us through language.  It’s hard to understand, but saying something like, “that is a mountain, a street sign, a ball, etc only makes it so because we have all agreed those words should mean that.”  Even abstract things like I’m cold, hot, hungry, angry, etc is born out of language.  They exist but the actual words used to describe anything has arisen out of language.  Even the story I tell myself from, “what happened”, isn’t really real.  None of it is real.  It only becomes real once we attach language to it to describe it, tell it, and explain it to ourselves.  And when we are unhappy, afraid, or mad, boy do we tell it, over and over again using words we choose to make it real for ourselves. 

You may be thinking, “So what?”  Well, it’s actually very powerful.  I am the author of the words I use.  I “borned” them, or created them, or birthed them, or whatever word you prefer.  I like, “borned”.  And they are just words.  The words themselves don’t mean anything except for the value or symbol I have given to them. 

Something about understanding this has changed me.  They are just words.  “I don’t have enough money”, is just words, “I am tired”, is just words, “I can’t write in my blog, it won’t be good”, is just words.  People, they are just words!  They don’t even mean anything except for what I tell them to mean.  I have had a huge shift in thinking.  This understanding has made change seem so doable and easy.  I am the author of the words I use.  The meaning behind those words only have the power I give them.  They only mean what I create them to mean.

So when I got up and thought about the words I used and what I created because of them it was a powerful moment.  I can change words easily!  In the, “I’m late for Zumba” because I said the words, “It’s ok for me to sleep in”, moment, I decided to say the words, “its ok, I’m going to Zumba anyway”. And I went because I chose some different words.  Yesterday when I had the thought, “I just want to eat a whole lot of ice cream”, I thought, “I know how this works, I’m just going to change the words”, so I said, “I am going to eat a piece of gum, I love gum.”  Because I said it, I did it.  The only thing that is real is what I say is real.
I wrote that a few days ago and have been paying attention to my language and the meaning I attach to the words ever since, and I have to admit I am struggling.  I want to be powerful in my life where I always do what I know will bring me the greatest meaning, purpose, freedom and confidence.  I have wanted to watch TV and eat an entire half gallon of ice cream all day, just because I set a ton of goals this morning, and ever since I have been STRUGGLING!!  I have been forcing myself to keep going and getting the things done I set out to do and have been practicing saying more powerful words all along the way.  But what a struggle. 

What I have realized from this is that I have a strong way of being that fights against me being different.  I set goals to get the laundry done, clean the house, correct student’s lesson plans, eat healthy, write and post a blog entry.  Not that being busy is out of the ordinary but my state of being is freaking out for some reason.  It must have been the blog post idea.  I can hear the words all day long saying, “you’re tired you should take a nap, wouldn’t it be great to just sit and read a book, you don’t really want to write anything that takes up to much energy, I just want to watch a movie and eat ice cream!” 

Oh my gosh, my state of being is having a huge rebellion and fire hosing me with words of inability and weakness.

I am determined I will prevail!

I will finish correcting my lesson plans tonight and post a blog post tonight!  No matter what!  Because I say so!!!!

HHHMMMMM.  How is that for being in charge of the creation of my own language? 

…………....(So I said I wanted to write about two things but I will write about the other thing tomorrow.  And I will write another post tomorrow, no matter what because I say so!  So there.  That is really kicking my old self in the behind and using different words!)  Love it!!  I feel so much better.  I’m going to push the button now and feel awesome.


  1. I love the author/podcaster Gretchen Rubin. She talks about making the positive argument. If we say "my husband never helps me", our brain will think of all the supporting facts to agree with that statement. But if we say "my husband helps me a lot" our brain will support that idea. Our brain automatically does confirmation bias so we might as well give it good thoughts to bias ourselves with.

    1. love that Becca. We do look for evidence of how we want to justify feeling. I wonder how that works for fear and thoughts of inability. Do our brains still grab a hold of evidence to support our feelings of "I'm not capable", or "that will never work out"? I will have to think about that. Love you honey.

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  3. My mom has been talking about the convention! It’s nice to get a small glimpse of what you might learn there. It’s definitely a new way of thinking and will take time to get used to... after all... you’ve been thinking the “normal” human way your whole life! Persevere! Stay strong!