God: "I'm here, hold on, you're going to be ok."

We had a rough summer. It wasn’t just the hectic mission presidents schedule, there were also things happening at home that caused us to feel like we were in a soap opera. I kind of felt like our lives were falling apart.  No, definitely felt like life was falling apart!  In the middle of it all I felt like God reached out and said, “I’m here, hold on, you’re going to be ok.”  I want to back track and share an amazing week among the trials that happened a few months ago.

Here is what happened:  We had just finished up zone conference, which is always exhausting, but good, but in addition we had some family things develop that were unexpected that kind of knocked me over a little.  Then we went right into a weekend with a general authority visit to our mission.  So that meant a hectic weekend with two missionary meetings with him and then stake conference sat night and sun morning.  Then the next day right into interviews and spent every day interviewing and solving problems with the missionaries on a personal and individual basis.

This could be the usual hectic schedule of being a mission president but in the midst of all of this our basement flooded in UT, Jordan who was on his mission had been having some difficult physical challenges we had been trying to solve with doctors there, my parents were having very difficult health challenges that made me long to be home to help, and a few other things I won't mention the specifics on. So in this depleted, exhausted state I felt myself telling the Lord, "I can't do this, you have to help me",  almost every day and night.  A midst other dialogue such as, "How can all this happen at once? Why? Help me hold on.  Please make this happen.  Please carry me.  Help me just look outward for the next 6 hours.  Please don't let me cry right now! And, please fill me up so I have something to give today."  I just have to kind of laugh and cry when I think about the prayers that week. 

But I wanted to share some miracles I saw that made me feel like I was looking into heaven and undeniable seeing Gods hand in a very real way that week.  Tuesday morning I was kind of just balling to God asking for a miracle and a blessing for a son.  This son ended up feeling a miracle happen in his life that afternoon that he shared with us that evening.  What a miracle!  Thursday I was in the middle of interviews and was sick with a migraine to the point of feeling light headed, dizzy and nauseated.  I felt I would have to stop and not meet with the last 15 missionaries. I knew they would be disappointed.  I went to the car to pray and just cried again to God, "I can't do this!  I am so sorry, but if you want this to happen you’re just going to have to do it yourself.  I am so sick, so tired and so depleted.  Just carry me please and make this happen."  I lay in the car for a few minutes and then thought I would go in and try.  The very next interview I was listening and noticed myself laughing and realized my migraine was gone. I was able to interview for 5 more hours and focus and listen and give ideas and love and support and I knew it was a loving Heavenly Father who hears and answers prayers in our extremities. 

Then on Sat morning we were in a hurry and the kids in UT wanted to lay the carpet back down in our basement there; they had had fans blowing on the carpet all week. Meghan had said it smelt moldy earlier in the week, and thought there had probably been water spreading in every time it rained throughout the summer that they hadn’t noticed. But this huge storm was like a water fall into the basement that took a day to clean up and left a moldy smell uncovered.

I felt bad we hadn't dealt with any details of replacing carpet pad, testing for sheet rock damage, insulation wetness, or testing for mold, so I started calling around trying to get educated about flooding restoration.  I only had an hour to get ready and make the phone calls before we had to leave for the Coeur D'alene zone interviews.  As I was calling and arranging for someone to go over to our house in UT I had the thought, "I don't have time for this, what I need is the Lord to make the moisture in the basement disappear, the carpet pad to be fine, the sheet rock to be undamaged and the insulation to be dry.  The Lord could definitely make that happen."  I didn’t have time to pray it, I just thought it as I ran to get out the door to be on our way.  The service man called a few hours later to tell us that he had gone to the house and our kids did an amazing job cleaning up the water because there was no moisture in the air, no sheet rock damage, the pad was fine and all we needed to do was disinfect the pad, re stretch the carpet and have it cleaned.  I knew I had just witnessed another miracle the Lord performed in my life that week.  I have often thought, “Faith is a decision."  During interviews that week one of the sister missionaries told me, "Faith is a decision to see miracles." I love that.  I feel strong testimony that God's hand is in our lives. I know He doesn’t always show us in dramatic ways, sometimes we just feel His peace.  But if we will have eyes to see Him, we will.  He is very real. I know, "Faith is a decision to see God's hand."